Sunday, April 19, 2015

Yes I cry!! A hell lot..actually.

What it is about crying that makes people uncomfortable, judgemental, labelling it a woman thing!!
I own up man, I cry n actually a hell lot.i cry when I fail, when I m being tested.And then I cry when I almost phenomenally succeed !!
I cry when I see the dark clouds and the rain.Nature fills me up so much that I pour out.I cry when my pet rabbit, coco, rubs his nose on my feet wanting to play with me.His love overwhelms me.
I cry when being married for 2 yrs now; my husband still calls me his girlfriend n gifts me flowers every now and then.
And then tears roll down when little girls look at me with those eyes aspiring to be me when they grow up.
My nephews n nieces they make my eyes go gaga , when they look at me with their sparkle eyes.
I cry when people mock me; judge me coz my heart aches for them not being graced enough to not hurt other souls.
I cry when I am angry ; anger drains me; I see it as something weak in me.
So, practically everything about humans and about life AMAZES me.
And I know that after 10min of my eyes pouring I feel a calm inside me.I m indrawn and I feel light as a feather.
So ladies dont let the world take it away from u...and for that matter gentleman try it out; the potential of ur aching or delighted soul overpouring will sweep u off ur feet.
We were created to feel the warmth and beauty of nature; human connect; of why be hippocrits and tag such a natural human emotion as weakness.
In fact to cry it out needs emmence strength and I believe only who recieve grace can feel so deeply.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Be the light !!

While going through my regular reading routine I stumbled upon this quote "Never be afraid of being the most loving person around"; powerful indeed. And immediately I was thinking am I afraid of being that person, the most loving one and what I discovered,I actually was.Are u loving at the maximum of your capacity.Is your love transcending your anger, jealousy and hatred.Hope you too are not caught in the game of I'l love only as much as I will get in return.
      And then the most astonishing discovery I made, this practice of loving to all of my capacity liberates me; so I m doing good to myself first and then then anyone else.Every other emotion hatred, anger, revenge drains a lot of me. Love not as much!
    But why then not all of us practice this.We have been brought up in a world where every act of love and kindness is looked upon with suspicion. We immediately start searching a motive behind someone's love. What a pity we have been made into these robots who calculate risk benefit; profit loss before every act.
    But a word of caution! To be loving beyond expectations , beyond boundaries , beyond reason need a brave soul it is not for the faint hearted. But the moment you step into this world all things will seem simple, just replace every other negative thought about anyone with a sprinkle of love. U will feel lighter and your eyes will be shinier !! U WILL BE THE LIGHT !! I m on it from now on are u ??

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The oncology ward....jan 2015.

IThe ward here looks silent! A far cry from the regular ones where patients are annoyed to every little affair not going according to their wish....the people suffering from cold; cough; fever and others from their self created illnesses obesity hypertension n all.
The patients here at the oncology ward; the word oncology makes it sound more scientific and more or less a little bit less invincible than cancer; they do not complain....they seem to have resigned to the creator's wish.
No one here talks rudely, no one fights, the medical staff works with slow, serene demeanor;  the physicians,surgeons putting in the years of their life in patientcare , research look no ordinary humans;  outcomes here at this place are counted in decades....probably long after all of them will be gone.
There is no anxiety , no rush...
An hour into the place and I m overwhelmed! ! The faces of all of them had some calm, some how the place as if existed in another plane.
I was distressed to return back to my regular chaotic world where I could count outcomes in hours fever gone; cough relieved; patient cured.....
And you know the most striking part of this whole situation....the smaller our pains , the more we panic and fight and complain; we focus more on smaller aspects of life.
Jane Hawkins aptly wrote in her biography "when the fight is with destiny ; the only things that matter are major issues- life ,survival, death." So much so that our world n its matters look Lilliputian against their world n issues.I will always remember the oncology ward coz it will always give back my perspective.