ME

IF THE JOURNEY IS ABOUT DISCOVERNG ME then the path is sometimes too difficult to trail…..

If I see the complete design of the universe,my existence becomes so small,my ego just so ignorable.

   

Have I been defeated already,or still there r chances of win…….

Everyday seems a mistake all so many times I hav been rubbished n mocked

My definitions in life r oh yes quite quirky but…

After with all dats gone by, who sees any silver lining in the clouds still.

If the journey is about me discovering myself,the path becomes so difficult to trail sometimes…

They say I hav been my own enemy, yes I m my best critic I believe

My deficiencies make me so much of myself,how can I part from all that and be

If I make the criterion and  if  I m the judge ….

Then with the endurance earned and a graceful smile I give myself accolades still.

And then if the journey is all about me…….the path will remain as much difficult to trail..

The design is right and our existences just spread in a small time, I will let myself be…the best I can be…..

                                                                                              

                                                                            -shabda

i suspect the design....

EVERY CALLING IS GREAT IF GREATLY PURSUED......

     read this statement somewhere when i was some 10 years old.Since then it has stuck in my head.....what is my calling???? thats a question i keep asking myself....sometimes reaching very close to an answer but then there is another searching in my soul and my perspective change,so does the purpose of my life as i define it.If u try and ask urself, Are u doin justice to ur presence on this earth??  There is never any answer because that we will come to know at only the end of the whole game.

               What is one sure shot way that can keep ur heart out of distress,abt the whole purpose thing.One simple random act that u can do each day and say fine now my today's job is done.....

Oft i hav regretted my decisions at the end of the whole drama when i have realised that there was some desire or some greed or some person who took me all the way on the wrong path and pulled me far off from my calling....n by the time i have come to know,i have now miles to walk to reach the destination where that desire or greed first came n then restart my journey all over again.Has the whole design of life been made so COMPLEX on purpose.So that we keep moving round and round in circles.....

Sometimes it makes me wonder,why m i supposed to go through certain situations in life when to my lousy brain they just seem pointless......n not adding anything towards my journey in life.Seems like a devine plan to put such statements into the head of wandering souls like me....So till i understand my real calling........my calling is to suspect the design and try to find the purpose of it.....n how its adding to my progress in the journey called life.      

                                       

                                              NAZM

              Kaise kaise jina sikha, has ke rona ro ke hasna sikha.

               

               Kaun ata kaun jata, kaun kehta kaun sunta,

              Sabhi masroof the itne

               Ki  fir hamne ap hi kehna, ap se hi sunna sikha.

              Mausam badalte dekhe,pathther pighalte bhi dekhe,

            Par hairan to tab hue jab ki  zajbaat badalte dekhe.

            Andhiyaan uthte dekhi, ghatayen ghumadte dekhi,

           Ye sab to yuhi hua krta hai,par achanak fir fitrate badalti dekhi.

            Ghazab ka jazba tha “shabda” mein bhi lekin

            Jab tak samjha gaya samjha tera jalwa e duniya…

             Na samjha to usi  to nazmo mein pirona sikha.

                                                                      -shabda

all singing in different tones

जाने  कब ज़िन्दगी से  बैर हो गया  ,जिस जिस को चाहा वही गैर हो गया

हम तो अपना ग़म  रो रो कर  सुना रहे थे ,बज़्म में वही शेर मशहूर हो गया.

 एक ख्वाबों की बस्ती में जिया करते थे हम भी ,कुछ लव्जो को पिरोया लिखा करते थे हम भी ,

जाने कब उन जज्बातों का होना फजूल हो गया ,जिस जिस को चाहा वही गैर हो गया 

जाने कब ज़िन्दगी से ........

आँखों में चमकती सी बात लिए आये थे कुछ खास पोशीदा से जज़्बात लिए आये थे ,

इस शेहेर ने वो ज़ुल्म किया की ये वजूद ही आम हो गया,जिस जिस को चाहा वही गैर हो गया

जाने कब ज़िन्दगी से..............

पर अब भी एक कसक सी बनी रहती है "शब्दा" में कहीं,कि फिर उन गलियों में जाएँ देखें ,

कि क्या कही कोई हमारे नाम पर भी बदनाम हो गया,जिस जिस को चाहा वही गैर हो गया 

जाने कब ज़िन्दगी से..............

                                        FOR AMY WINEHOUSE….

This isn’t a world for the faint hearted,it just cannot be,after all Charles Darwin gave the theory…..THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.Only the fit survive,rest keep struggling all their lives..Some win some loose.Sometimes I feel does anyone even care about the feelings of anyone 

                                             Amy Winehouse so dearly loved by all her fans around the globe just went away…..shocking.I don’t think she would have wanted to just checkout like this if she had an insight of how much she is loved the world over.Human emotions are unsuppressable….so even today’s world has as much emotional contest as was the times of Shakespeare,its only that the world now believes in hiding it,even if some of us may die for the want of love and acceptance. 

                                               And all these news coming up,that everyone could see her killing herself.thats the saddest part of the story,if all knew then what stopped them to help her.Amy was just like any other little girl unable to cope up in this world of grown up,made up people.Greater than anything else what our world requires is acceptance….a small little child should be fed in his head deeply that he is accepted as he is with all his attributes.The theory of wrong and right as it is engraved in our head from our kindergarten days needs to be challenged,soon.Had Amy been accepted as she was with all her quirkyness and more than that if this world had tried to show her more often that she belongs here,as much as all of us she might be here with us creating soulful music.

                                                 Her songs ‘You know I m no good’ and “Tears dry on their own”…..were my soulmates during my difficult times.So I know what she must be going through during the time of their creation.There was an innocence in her appearance that looms long after everytime you see her picture or video or hear her voice.And a bold statement that always echoed in her songs,that she is TROUBLED,can there be anyone bolder than her in accepting her flaws. 

                                                 The artist in her was seeking perfection in this world full of turmoil and pretention.Getting addicted to substances was the way she chose to forget about this world,and to drown in music and her creations.Had she been gifted genetically by better coping skills or had she yearned to learn them to fit in this world she would have survived but her unapologetic statement that she doesn’t want to fit here,took her to the dark corners and that darkness  has engulfed her finally.The beautiful soulful artist in her deserved much more than a short span of 27years.My heart aches to have lost Amy….and a chance to experience more of  her voice and creations.Hope the little girl in her experiences the perfection of the God’s world up there…the perfection she kept seeking in our chaotic world but never could get it.               –love u Amy. 

"Most of each n every day goes by trying to find the missin peices of the puzzle;
seeing life in different lights as i pass through different phases,
Every step cautious every step clean;so as not to break my delusions;
n then comes a turn steep n cruel,prejudices dont usually survive it,
It's time for a new set of ideas to emerge"....yet again -shabda

understanding me....more.

Cherish ur lifegivin emotion…(a page from my diary….for all of u to ponder)

We constantly keep deciphering the same truth so differently each time lookin through the glasses of our prejudices and beliefs.Just .like every time I look through my window,the outside world stares back at me in different shades,sometimes gloomy,sometimes joyous,.it may be so that the world is reflecting my own inner characterstics…my own basic lifegiving emotion at that moment of time.I think,just .like those life saving drugs that we prescribe in medicine,one certain intense emotion be it love, be it jealosy,be it anger…be it pride…it should every day nourish

our brains,churn it to keep it moving…forward or backward whatever way.

                                                                                                 -amy